Smashin' of Fare's Theme Song
“Smashin' of Fare - Bossy Boots” — official biography track
for this one.
The Boss of Shallow Taproot Island
Smashin' of Fare was first logged on August 23 on Shallow Taproot Island, the only fruit of the Fare plant: dark slate-green with lime-yellow mottling. He calls himself the leader of the Fare clan, and the islanders have other names for him: Bossy Boots, The Big Meanie and Mr. My-Way. At the October 16 walk-through weigh-in he was 11 lb 1 oz, 31 3/8 inches around and 29 1/4 inches over the top, and on October 18, Hobart community day, he went home with a new family.
Things I Want My New Family to Know
From Smashin', in his own words.
- When they first wrote me down I was a dark green little thing on the Fare plant. Only one it ever made, I was.
- I'm the leader of the Fare clan, me. The others call me Bossy Boots. Cheek!
- Eleven pounds and an ounce on the big scale, and I still went home. Ta ever so!
From the Oct 16 Roll Call • Final reading October 16, 2026
31 3/8 in around · 29 1/4 in over the top
The Fare Clan
The Fares are the punks of the Patch. Most of them came up on Shallow Taproot Island, the weedy, fence-lined corner beside 206th Street, and many have no parent vine anyone can name. Their name started with a sticker that asked, “Bred or Fare?” Out by the thoroughfare a pumpkin can watch the traffic roll by, or keep company with Louie, the Rescue’s beloved horse and our very own ThoroughFare.
That is why they are scrappy, a little surly and proudly un-fancy: small green defenders of the Ward Family Rescue, bred for fare, not fear. Punks do not care much for royalty, so even the clan’s duke, Wellington, is named for Beef Wellington. Smashin’ calls himself the leader. The rest of the clan has opinions about that.
The whole clanSmashin'’s Patch Family
Smashin' went home with a new family. Here are three more from the Patch he grew up in.
