Dolphy's Theme Song
“The Pumpkin with a Punchline” — written for Aret
Press + to see the words to “The Pumpkin with a Punchline”! Press − to hide the words
Shout the orange parts back!
Up on Novelty Hill, I spent the summer at the mic,
Workin' on my pumpkin jokes, the kind a Lolo likes;
Saved a front-row seat for you when Harvest Day came 'round,
But a tummy ache kept you at home (WEH?), nowhere to be found!
Who's the pumpkin with a punchline? (DOLPHY!)
Who's the Lolo laughin' every time? (ARET!)
Problema'y may remedy, kung may konting comedy,
So skip the gamot, Lolo, take a joke from me!
Now I've got a little theory 'bout that tummy ache, Lolo,
"Ding, wala ang mga bata..." and the radio down low!
Paid my bail in punchlines, told 'em all on Novelty Hill,
Rolled down 169 to Maple Valley proper, laughin' still!
Who's the pumpkin with a punchline? (DOLPHY!)
Who's the Lolo laughin' every time? (ARET!)
Problema'y may remedy, kung may konting comedy,
So skip the gamot, Lolo, take a joke from me!
Then the Cowboy Pinoy clipped my vine and saved me just for you, (ARET!)
Four pounds, fourteen ounces, heaviest of the hand-picked crew;
Okay lang, hindi ako naging lokal na artista,
Lokal na kalabasa lang, pero pogi, pwede na!
Testing, testing... Dolphy here. Ano'ng tawag sa kalabasang palabiro? A jack-o'-LAUGH-tern! (BA-DUM-TSS!)
Mahirap maging pogi... pero mas mahirap maging ganito ka-funny!
Aret, tummy ache and all, you helped feed the horses through,
Fed and warm all winter long at the Ward Family Rescue;
You saw bigger things for us the very first day that we met,
Diyos at pamilya, Lolo, and the best is comin' yet!
Who's the pumpkin with a punchline? (DOLPHY!)
Who fed the horses right on time? (ARET!)
Problema'y may remedy, kung may konting comedy,
Someday I'll be sweet as mangoes on your Batangas tree!
Humanap ka ng kamukha ng kalabasa, mamahalin ka nang tunay,
Aret, you've got one now, from the Pipsqueak Pumpkin Patch: the mic's yours, every day!
for this one.
The King of Comedy
Dolphy was added to the registry on October 26, after the last event of the season. He is named after Dolphy, the King of Comedy of the Philippines, and he saved up his best pumpkin jokes for Harvest Day. That same day he had his one and only weigh-in: 4 lb 14 oz on the scale, 23 5/8 inches around and 22 inches over the top, even deep orange with a long curved green stem. He grew on Novelty Hill. The Cowboy Pinoy hand-picked him for Aret, and he went home as a Hand-Picked for You gift that helped feed the Rescue's horses this winter.
Things I Want Aret to Know
From Dolphy, in his own words.
- I'm named after the King of Comedy. Ano'ng tawag sa kalabasang palabiro? A jack-o'-laugh-tern!
- On the scale I weighed four pounds and fourteen ounces. That's a whole lot of funny!
- The Cowboy Pinoy hand-picked me just for you. Salamat, Aret! Problema'y may remedy, kung may konting comedy.
From the Oct 26 weigh-in • Final reading October 26, 2026
23 5/8 in around · 22 in over the top
Dolphy’s Patch Family
Dolphy went home with Aret. Here are three more from the Patch he grew up in.
